Everquest memories-Surrounded by kindness

I started playing Everquest when I was eight years old and essentially grew up on it off and on. When I was fifteen, I got computer privileges back after being grounded, and made a character on a new server because I decided to actually play. Before this, my max level was eighteen because this was back when death was very punishing and I was literally terrified to leave Gfay/crushbone.


Anyway, the story starts with me going to guide event and meeting these two people who were role playing alongside--I was fifteen, gawky, headgear, long tangled hair and maybe seventy pounds and TALL. And I loved writing. I instantly wanted to know all about their guild. As soon as I could I was writing a backstory for the application process and became a member of the Sigils, one of the oldest still active role playing guilds on live--it's still going on the Emarr server (originally inno).
And I loved the Sigils so much that I started telling everyone about it. I recruited something like twenty people to the guild, including cross server, because I briefly revived the server wide roleplay channel from the live forums. While I played I grew up, I met a boy, and that boy was abusive. Things sucked so much in my normal life, in high school. I was desperate to stay as thin as I was as a kid and my boyfriend would alternately scream abusive insults and cry in my arms, before escalating to punching walls and sometimes my arms. When I logged in that shit didn't matter. I was a powerful shadow knight with these intricate and cool storylines. I was made an officer in the guild. The Sigils weren't just a role playing guild, we did high tier grouping content--when Underfoot launched I got a few server firsts.


I'll always remember my absolute best moment in Everquest. We got a huge force together to raid the demi plane of blood for the chance at an epic 2.5 drop. We brought the allied guilds I'd negotiated as ambassador. And some more that loved the Sigils from years ago. It was my first ever raid, and I loved every second of it. At the end, a melee 2.5 aug dropped--I couldn't believe it. All the melee present rolled and--I didn't get the high roll. The people who rolled above me were the raid leader, who'd played ten years straight and cared so much about his paladin, the person who recruited me who knew an insane amount about numbers and had been talking about getting this aug for months, and a longtime ally who was a top tier raider and made a lot of our ambitious adventures possible with his support.
And they all passed to me.

Demi

I remember my guild leader, who was like a second mom to me, calling me while I was crying at the computer and saying, you deserve it, kiddo!

They passed it to me not because they thought I had the shitties life, that I had done the most for the guild, but because every single person there got a genuine kick out of being kind and generous. That's what Everquest was to me. A place I could go when things were really tough to be surrounded by kindness. It was more than an escape--it was a vacation.

I quit playing in college and only really log in to say hi to my guildies now. But I wouldn't have survived high school and become the confident, self-assured and happy grown woman I am today without the kindness of a bunch of people to an awkward teenager back then. Thanks, EQ.








calowyn (From Reddit)